Some Things Remain The Same and Some Things Never Change - or do they?

This post is for a dear friend I’ve known for over a dozen years.

Dear - my friend who will know who she is if / when she reads this -

I thought of you tonight, for a reason you’ll appreciate, I know. I was remembering how you were so deadly determined not to like me when we met. And how, one day, after I burst into your office with a vase I had painted for you on some artistic whim, you said it was then that you realized you just couldn’t do it; you decided to turn in your determination to dislike me, for the more enjoyable pursuit of friendship, instead. I can’t recall, exactly, what you said - something like…”and she’s NICE TOO, damn it!”

Well, I don’t know why I ever painted the vase. Probably for the same reason I do half of the nutty, inspired and for-no-darned-good-reason-but-it-pleases-me kinda things in life! All I do know is… what another chooses to do with such a thing has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own being. In your case, I have always believed that your beauty wasn't made by the act of looking beyond my container, nor anything I ever “packed" openly, without apology. No, your beauty was defined within, in the second just before that happened; by your decision to free yourself from the jail you had created for your being; the one that led up to that moment of far greater possibility, for both of us. I know my life has certainly benefited, as a result.

Anyway, tonight, I thought of you and wondered if I ever made a point of telling you that I appreciated your giving me a chance, in spite of what drove you to want to treat me badly; that it is part of what has come to affirm my endless faith – that never do we need to require others be less in order to feel that we are more. Indeed, we are more when we allow others to be all they are, in SPADES, as they do the same for us, in return.

Now, while I'm at it, I may not have told you recently, either, how proud I am of you. I am proud to know a woman who is such a survivor and so honest (with herself), as you are, to the core. It truly is not whether we win or lose - it truly is all about how we play in life. And you have much to be proud of, my dear friend. As have I, in being so blessed with our friendship.

Now - I will know if you frequent my blog only when I hear from you – I shall say nothing! Until then, this post will sit right here in cyberspace, unhidden (yet still, a surprise!).

Cheers to you my dear! Carpe Diem!!
With Gratitude,~ T.

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Brass Tacks in The Sky Tonight

My mom was always fond of saying, "I lost my independence on Independence Day!" (my parents were married on July 4th). It's always brought a special, humorous joy to this day, to hear this little, ironic phrase of hers.

Today, I feel a mix of joy and misgiving. I cannot seem to decide whether the fireworks, barbeque, red, white and blue are more or less poignant. While my mother can bring me a smile with her personal reference, this particular 4th, I can't help but dwell on this great thing Americans have cultivated over generations of toil - OUR independence.

I wish it weren't so, but, part of me feels less like celebrating, as it is clear there are so many laws being ram-rodded through without time for so much as a "cliff notes" version to be read, cover-to-cover.

Someone on the radio this AM (NPR) pointed out how, years ago, our public servants spent the great bulk of their time focussed on attending to the details of government (i.e. their job), while citizens worked the fields and factories, etc. Today, they appear to spend the bulk of their time focussed on image, spin and the all-important task of getting re-elected.

Unfortunately, the Devil truly IS in the details and, at this point, more and more people each day are beginning to feel the heat of what's coming. Didn't we lose yet another half million jobs last month?!

And so it is, I find myself torn. While I'm hopeful (knowing I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings here), I'm also deeply concerned for our country.

No single one of us has the power - no single one of us is the answer. Only united, can we overcome any adversity. And, in my view, only in shedding light on the problems and dealing with them head-on, can we solve them, together. Divided, we fall. And, in the absence of light, no ugly truth can be discovered, much less resolved.

Today, I am going to see each firework that explodes overhead as a burst of brass tacks. The thousand points of light that hit the sky tonight, to me, shall symbolize all the DETAILS that so deserve our immediate and united attention... far above and beyond any self interest, greed and ego needs.

May a thousand fireworks be seen from every window in America tonight!



© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Dandelina, Dandelina, Tiny Little Thing!

Oh, how the dandelions move in each spring. Even if I were to pay a penny a piece to small children, to pick them before they break into wish-makers, I'd go broke in a season around here.

As with so many things one cannot control, one must learn to find the good in them. The beauty. Sometimes, it's a stretch. Here, I've done what I can because...I'm not ready to make any Dandelion wine...not yet, anyway!

I once grew fond of saying, "what we feed is what grows." But, some things grow in spite of any circumstance people may seek to control. Some things grow through cracks of cement, in spite of any nurturing. Some things thrive in deserts, blooming in isolation and extreme conditions, in spite of all lack. Indeed, some things require almost nothing to survive - no light nor careful attention; no time nor effort to control any conditions. Such things are admirably persistent.

When I come upon what appears to be a carpet of Dandelions, I look beyond what I can expect from a tomato plant or a Dahlia. I release all expectation. I dare not spend any time nor focus on what direction the Dandelion intends, in spite of any of my best wishes. Instead, I see it for what it is, finding beauty where I can...and keep on moving. I have cultivated a different kind of persistence, I guess.

Now Dandelinas brighten my day (all those dandelions can go away!!).


© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Speak out against HR 1966 and S.909 NOW or forever hold your...

Power hungry, fear-mongers are on the hunt,yet again, in America. What I want to know is, have you figured out where you are in the natural order (as it's being re-shuffled)? Before you read on - I offer this small word of caution: Bystanders can't be choosers...!

Shame on every last "little" one of you who has THE AUDACITY to question what your legislators are doing "on your behalf!" Don't you know THEY KNOW BETTER about what is best for you and yours?

Shame on every last "little" state that has THE AUDACITY to put it's power ahead of that of the Federal government!

Shame on ALL of you "little" citizens for having THE AUDACITY to think your representatives still answer to YOU.

For all who are now being shamed for your AUDACITY, it's time to speak out against HR 1966 and S.909 (or forever hold your...!).

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

The Butterfly

I ran into the house during mid-watering of my garden, to get the camera for this butterfly that arrived, unexpectedly, in my life. It took a lot of patience to get a shot of this precise moment, where the butterfly was open and still for more than a second.

I think, if I had a totem, it would likely be the butterfly.

Some fly many colors (where I grew up, we attended the yearly Monarch Parade - a beautiful event in an area where monarchs were seen by the dozens!) and others, seemingly not so many (but, if you look very closely, there's a lot of "hidden" color in those little ones that look "vanilla" from a distance, on a long, hot, summer afternoon).

Of all creatures, butterflies seem, to me, to be most known for their intricate flight patterns. They take so many directions on their way and can seem so...unpredictable (yet, I believe chaos theory understands butterflies and they are not without specific purpose).

There is a simplicity to them, in a complex kind of way. Yes, they are really very simple creatures. And I have noticed that they seem to appear in my life (be they real or in images, etc.), in moments of upheaval and change - when things can seem so complicated, if one doesn't have time to stop for longer than a moment at a time.

To catch one...well, what reason would there be in that? Actually, if I could, I'd bring it to a dear friend who just had her second hip replacement (and let HER set it free :-). But, to allow one to crawl upon your finger (as this one did) and to let it rest there, until it is ready to leave, is...beautiful.

Now, as I contemplate an ending to this post, I guess I'm left only with the thought that, at a time when I am trying to 'let go' and stay focussed on the "bigger picture" - to concentrate on contributions and positive things beyond the insanity of where a world of political nonsense is taking this nation - it has brought me to at least one moment of great joy and inspiration, this little creature.

I end this post with gratitude.

Have a fabulous Friday tomorrow!


© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Senator Jim DeMint - why the TRUTH matters.

I just posted the following comment on a piece written by Senator Jim DeMint. I urge every American to go read his post. If Kennedy were alive today, I think he'd say... "Think not about what you party can do for you - think about what YOU can do to protect and defend America's Constitution." Beyond this, again - I can only reiterate - our children are looking to US to be their leaders. When their freedoms and authority are stripped away into silence and submission to our legacy, it is my belief they will remember US (our action / failure to act), not the politicians we elected.

COMMENT I LEFT TODAY:

Bravo. What makes us American is NOT rooted in party affiliation. I can only add that, long before ANY of you - our elected officials - took the OATH to protect and defend OUR constitution of the United States of America, WE THE PEOPLE take that oath.

At the CORE, what makes America a beacon of freedom - a unique place in all the world - is the fact that the power to govern is in the hands of the people; that we are, indeed, the GOVERNORS.

Each and every day that passes where we citizens forget our place - ABOVE that of our President (as Brandeis once said) - and fail to exercise our power in limiting the authority of our servants while protecting / defending OUR consitution, WE consitute the greatest threat to our country and our children's future.

Personally, I care a great deal. On my blog, I have written on the matter of this OATH we ALL take. I have pointed a finger at our government / public servants. I have pointed a finger at our media. Now, it's time for all of us to look straight down at our OWN TWO FEET. It's time to put things into perspective and decide OUR place...shall we protect our role of authority as governors or turn it over to the authority of others and become the governed in America?

I'm 100% with you on the notion that what we give up in little bits, day by day, is DANGEROUS. Jim, you so rightly point out the much bigger picture, putting those little bits together, truthfully, in bigger-picture fashion. Thank you for this post.

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Anniversary of Tiananmen Square - poem by Janice Pisciotta was smuggled into China many years ago

I have blogged about my mom and her work before - here...and here....and here...and here.

My grandfather was Al Wiseman, ghost cartoonist for Dennis The Menace. And my mom inherited more talent in her pinkie finger than he ever had (no disrespect to him). However, as with women of her generation, she gave up a lot to be WITH her children. And I can say without bias that, over the years, the compromise was not to her work but to her notoriety.

Her work has traveled around the world. It has been used to teach poetry at a university back East. It has been cherished by such people as Elaine Steinbeck and Piet Hein. And the piece below was even smuggled into China, in the time just after the uprising in Tiananmen Square. As today marks the anniversary of that event, I wanted to make a special post of my mother's work. I have pasted it in, below.

A brief recollection: I remember, precisely, when my mom wrote this piece. And the one that follows it (written earlier, around the time of the Polish uprising). Yes, I remember that time so well - equally clearly. While some remember moments like the day Kennedy was shot, in great detail, I remember moments in my childhood and youth as marked by the incredible art and writings of my mother. Moments of standing beside her when she spoke with others about her work. Moments that have her face frozen in my mind's eye - a face full of connection, expression and depth of value. My mother taught me the meaning of real beauty and, for me, this day in history marks more than a social / political scar upon humanity. It marks my gratitude - for having been fortunate enough to have a mother as unique as my own. And I hope that, in posting this here today, it will mark a special contribution to your life, as well.

Tiananmen Square

Youth raised its voice in Tiananmen Square -
Age and wisdom turned their face -
While cameras told a story
no old man could erase.

Now Beijing wears a day of blood
to forever flood the minds
of those who sleep on freedom's bed -
their country's youth designed.

No gun can cure the blood of hope -
or Might stay future's change -
though Drug and Greed and Power Needs
ride mankind's sorry range.

In Tiananmen Square the death
is not of student's hopeful cries...
but that of one whose tomb screams out -
"You Li...You Lied! You Lied!"

© 1989 Janice Pisciotta

The piece (below), again, was written after the uprising in Poland. I first posted it on the sidebar of my blog as a political statement to what I now see happening with CPSIA and other legislation sailing through our congress without the will of the people behind it (in my view). As for CPSIA - I have written plenty on this blog and continue to maintain that ANY law that takes a nation by surprise cannot possibly be born of the will of WE the people. On this note, I hope you'll take time to visit Amend The CPSIA and to learn about the lies behind this legislation - if you view the expert testimony presented in D.C. on April 1st, I assure you, you will fully comprehend the hypocrisy and why I say that all "greenies" should be up in arms and out in full force over this nightmare that is destroying small business, parental authority and our environment (ironically in my estimation, based on all I've seen), in one great legislative be-heading.

Poland

An oozing, bruising crowd emerged –
Converged on Mother’s Soil –
Their boil of angry-fisted words
Some heard and called disloyal.

A jerk pulled tight a puppet’s strings
and puppet mouth gave answer;
“How dare you strike our structured life!
how dare you question Cancer!

How can you shout and raise your hand
to all our grand illusions
Brotherhood won’t stand behind
your unionized confusion!”

Answers came and went to jail
yet still the voices grew
and views held back by factory walls
made world-wide, front-page news.

Jerks and jails hold more than men
and often is the case, instead of easing tensions
they solidified a face.

Mother’s soil was heard to weep and deep within her skin,
Parent bones of prouder past touched their troubled kin –
No one may ever take away the soil that lives within.

© 1986 Janice Pisciotta

I end this post with love and gratitude.

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Why my feet throb

It's hot. Heat makes me do one of two things. Fall asleep. Or...

Winge.

Why my feet throb.

If you ever run out of super-fabulous cat food, don't do what I do.

Don't wait until the next day and make "do" with...well, tuna you don't have.

I caution you, something extreme...

Don't open that can of Spam your husband bought on some diabolical whim, threatening to make a dish that will make you fully appreciate the army.

Don't open that "meat" (and now, trust me, all of my kids can make those quotation moves with their fingers as they say this word with me) and dish it up, hoping to avoid being woken up, at the sparrow's fart, to the sounds of two insistent, intolerant, indignant, irritable and irrepresibly irrational cats.

DON'T DO IT!!!

Because your feet will throb by the end of the day, just like mine.

With an 8:30 appointment (three towns away), I had to get up extra early. I had to stand witness to a bowl that, without any other evidence accounted for, one would say hadn't been touched. But - there was the evidence. And there. And, again, over there...

Did you know, the grocery looks differently when you get there early...? Normally, I chat with all my "friends" (people who work there and people I see or meet on my way - grocery shopping simply CANNOT be done in under two hours, I say). But, I'm not a morning person. Lucky me, cat food was on sale. A few boxes of cereal the government is soon to ban...(Cheerios)...and a can of "off" (still nursing the 20 bites I got in a single evening)...and I was...OFF.

And running. Three towns away, I was late. Another town further down, I placed an order and talked politics with a man from the Philippines. Re-instilled my faith in common sense. If politicians could all be sent to the moon and normal Americans put in their place, I'm sure we could save more than this little planet...

Digression was NOT part of my day, I shall just put that out there.

Until now, that is.

Oh - so you do not need the entire laundry list. Just the "edges" shall suffice...

My feet throb because I have catered to cats. I have educated children. I have watered seeds that are now starting to splinter through the earth's crust (on this day of 80 degrees +). I have been on my hands and knees, shampooing carpet - and then again, soothing a child with a migraine headache. I have juiced carrots. Been politically active. Debated running for office (for the third day in a row). Made calzone from scratch. Done laundry, dishes, pumped my own gas. And I even have decided to write about another day...soon.

Now, I shall go cut and sew another dress. These kids will be wearing better than the skirts made of sheets for their Renaissance test! And when I am done, I will prop up my feet...and redeem a worn coupon as I smile and swear...I will never again serve "meat" to our lovely cat pair.

PS - Forget tea bags - I think I'll send Spam to our politicians on the energy and commerce committee who voted for CPSIA...!


© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Process Time - Are You Plugged In?

Today is like a day I’ve had before. A day where the loss or misfortunes of others adds greater intensity and significance to the most insignificant things.

There was a day when I was pregnant with my first born, when I found myself walking on my lunch break, along the sidewalks, in Beverly Hills. I walked with a purpose – not to seek out the salad I loved at The Farm. Not to find my car. Not to window shop at all that glitters. I walked, looking up at clouds and blue sky. I walked, looking at the way light reflected off glass buildings. I walked, feeling the air on my cheeks, taking full, deep breaths; knowing she could not.

Someone I cared for had died of ovarian cancer. In the days and weeks that followed, I felt a desire to use all my senses, powers, abilities – to do all the things my being could, not just for me but for her, as well. I would take it all in, because she could not. Somehow, I breathed my way through the loss. And, whenever I take time to breathe, memories of Moira return to me. As with today.

This morning I opened a random email. A woman I do not know shared a tragedy – of two boys in Indiana that were playing with fire. One now has 3rd and 4th degree burns to 97% of his body; the other, to 67%. The outcome looks grim. I emailed this woman – not because I could help, but because I could not say nothing. She was asking for prayers. And all I could think was, when tragedy strikes children, it’s exponentially felt. And, so, our prayers must be exponential, as well.

I am breathing. Planting tiny seeds in the earth. Listening to children giggle and eat Popsicles. And everything is magnified. The joy matches the sorrow. And I am reminded, there is balance, ALWAYS… even when we get so caught up that we fail to see it that way.

Life is a precious joy.

No matter how hard we work. No matter what we achieve or fail to accomplish. No matter what frustrates us – or who – along the way. Time is liquid and we are all connected. Where these boys have been – where they remain – where they go – so shall we. While each moment matters and is to be savored, one is no more worth our focus than another – they are all connected – and focus on moments is misplaced. Focus on connection – on what we are a part of, not separate from – is what matters.

For those who feel the need to hold the world of abstraction at bay, I hope you’ll take time…to breathe…today. Let the world fall off your shoulders. For life is not a linear process, controlled and managed by the clocks and frameworks we humans have so cleverly created. Take time to understand your power – a power that resides in you when you put your swords away.

I end this post with love. And gratitude. And my greatest sympathies for these boys and their family.

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved

Is NAIS to Small Farmers what CPSIA is to Small Business in America?

I've written before re: the fact that I see NAIS and HR 875 as having at least a few critical things in common with CPSIA, a law that:

1) undermines parental authority (Big Brother chooses for you now folks - mass production, here we come!)

2) fails to make our children more safe (see expert testimony at hearings held April 1st in D.C. - your eyes will bug out when you view the hypocrisy folks...).

3)regulates small business like mine into extinction at a time in our economic history when we can ill afford the losses (let me just add - I make hair barrettes, folks - when you can't sell hair barrettes from a cottage industry that supports moms and military wives working from home in the United States of America, something is definitely wrong!)

4) threatens libraries - all children's books printed on/before 1985 must be tested (avg. cost +/- $80 per book is what I've heard on this - what library can afford this?) and, if not tested or if the book fails the test, they are ALL to go to a LAND FILL (how is that good for our children - starve them of educational materials, original historical works AND hopefully, their children will get the benefit of whatever seeps into their groundwater?! Oye!).

5) retroactively impacts thrift stores (so many are just dumping children's stuff rather than face threat of $100,000 fines per violation, prison time and asset forfeiture - great small biz climate, eh? And I'm sure it's a big win for the growing number of needy children in this economy...but, I digress!)

6) appears to benefit NOBODY that I can see, unless maybe we can count the trial lawyers and their lobbyists - oh, and maybe the politicians they help put back into office ??? (fyi, here's a site to look up campaign contributions if your a curious cat...for my part, I couldn't help but notice that Mr. Waxman - who, incidentally, the ONLY MAN who has the AUTHORITY to call a committee hearing and turn this CPSIA nightmare around - has some interesting donors in his top ten there - but, I'm just a rural housewife so, what do I know - likely you'll find these same ones on a bunch of other campaign lists, right? So you can search for whatever politician you're curious about and take my 2cents with a big 'ol grain of salt...that is, if the FDA still allows that!!!).

SO - the point of this blog (other than a refresher as to why every parent and citizen ought to be enough outraged by CPSIA to get involved and contact their legislators on the Energy & Commerce committee ASAP!) is that this feature hit my inbox today USDA’s Own Cost Analysis Shows That the National Animal Identification System (NAIS) Will Put Small Farmers Out of Business and, as the title clearly points out, NAIS is looking ever more comparable to CPSIA (as I've said before - SAME HORSE, DIFFERENT COLOR!).

What's that? A law that will hurt small farmers and may not really be as beneficial as intended (I know, they don't "intend" to hurt small farmers - or, as my local legislator referenced, small biz like mine...)?? A law that adds tracking costs to the point that farmers become trackers, not farmers (and, for those of us in this industry, as Rick Woldenberg so well put it at the hearings on the labelling portions of CPSIA held the other day in D.C. - we become labelling companies, not children's product companies)! For those who watched the hearings on the labelling requirements of CPSIA that go into effect in August...isn't this just like TOTAL deja vu?!

I'm SO sorry, small farmers.
We FEEL your pain - and we hope we can help you head this nightmare off at the pass. In the meantime, let's all stay tuned for the next exciting episode of... The Bureaucratic Bunglers VS. Those Dear Hearts and Gentle People (who live in my home town - didn't think I knew that oldie, did you - thanks mom :-).

Time to pipe up folks.

PLEASE HELP all the small businesses who provide all of the unique and hand-crafted alternatives to mass produced CARP and who are already lying before you with their necks under the guillotine - go here and CALL YOUR LEGISLATORS. Help all the small farmers that put the quality foods that you PREFER and who are now next in line for our same fate and CALL YOUR LEGISLATORS.

PLEASE HELP save at least ONE industry BEFORE NAIS passes and those over-inflated egos in Washington have crossed over to the other side where they can no longer muster up even a whisper of an honest acknowledgment that...ah, let me at least try and be kind here...their efforts constitute little more than utterly insufficient performance on OUR behalf.

© 2009 Tristan Benz, all rights reserved